As a child, I lived in a few different spots. Of those spots, the one that this story takes place in is the one that had the biggest impact on my life. During this time period, I was attending some elementary school, middle school and the first 2 years of high school. The majority of my memories up until the end of high school take place here. It's like my "Silent Hill" in the sense that I lived out most of my deepest nightmares in the town of Wilson Point. Or perhaps it's where my nightmares originated; I don't really know. That said, this story is about a duo of friends from back in those days.
Meet Ashley and Megan. They're sisters, but Ashley was adopted. For all intents and purposes, they were family. When I first met them, I was a shy little kid and didn't know how to react. Over time, though, I got to know them and we became fantastic friends. Ashley and I were practically best friends for a short while and we would play outside, as kids generally do. We would pretend that we were video game characters taking on all sorts of stuff. We would pretend that we were the "Power Rangers". We would play kickball. We had a blast almost every day, but sometimes she just wouldn't come out to play and I wouldn't hear from her. I'd see her at the bus stop in the morning for a minute, but she wouldn't say anything, then she'd rush home when she got off the bus. I didn't know what was wrong and I never asked. I never had the courage to ask during that period of my life. Eventually, she stopped hanging out with me altogether and I found out one day that she moved away. It was a very painful experience. I walked the short trip to her house, only to discover that it was empty. No one was there, nothing was there and no one around knew what had happened. I later found out that they moved away to prevent neighborhood interference because Ashley's "dad" abused the shit out of her. He hurt her, molested her and I suspect that he may have even raped her. The worst part is that he did these things on a daily basis, while Megan got special treatment. Megan got everything she ever wanted, was never hurt and never received any sort of punishment. I cared about both of them, but my young heart was shattered into many, many pieces when I found out about this. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream and I wanted to make her "dad" pay for all that he'd done. Eventually, I got used to Ashley being gone. I never, ever forgot her and I'd constantly do research on the internet to find out if I could see where she'd been. I had this need to find her and take her into my arms like a caring brother would his little sister. A few years passed and one day, I was wandering around the hallways in high school, when I walked by a chorus class. I dropped my books on the floor as I stood in the doorway crying. Tears streamed down my face. I found her. She was in my school. She didn't go there regularly, but there was a group of the best choir students from the entire state visiting for a concert or something of the sort. Immediately following that, a teacher made me grab my books and move along. I was on my way to the office to go home. My mother dropped by because I had a doctor's appointment and I couldn't do anything about it. The only thing I could do was hold onto the hope that she would be there another day soon for more concerts or whatever was going on in there. The next day, she wasn't there. I asked around and discovered that it was a one-time thing. I skipped the rest of my classes that day, walked home and thought about it for the entire day. After all of those years, my last memory of her was replaced by a time-stopping moment in the school hallway; she was singing loudly, raising her voice to the sky above and smiling brilliantly. In my mind, I was happy, but so many tears were rolling down my face. I didn't know what to do with myself or how to handle the situation. I couldn't get her records or find out where she was. I couldn't even find out what school she went to at the time. I just had to live content knowing that she was alive and well. After seeing her, I tried even harder to find her. I thought about her constantly. She was an obsession for a very long time. I didn't want anything other than to find her, save her and protect her. I felt so bad about what had happened and I just wanted my friend back. It was so sickening and in a sense, it may even sound creepy to other people, but the truth is, I just wanted her to be happy and I thought I could help. I have the guts to bust her "dad", get her help and set things straight. Anyway, a few more years passed and my sister told me that she ran into Megan at one point. Megan said that Ashley was institutionalized because she basically lost her mind. That "dad" of her's seriously drove her to the breaking point. She couldn't live in a normal society because of what he did to her. Almost 21 years old at the time, it brought back the same feelings and I did a bit more research, pulled some resources and still found nothing. Megan didn't specify where Ashley was and my sister lost her phone number not more than 10 minutes after Megan gave it to her. It felt like my one shot at finding them was lost. To this day, Ashley's beautiful voice is the last memory I have of her. I don't know if I'll ever find her, but if I do, I don't even know what I'll say to her. I don't know if she'll even remember me. She might not even want me around. The both of them might just tell me to fuck off or something. I don't know what'll happen if that day ever comes, but I'll say this: That wont stop me from trying. I'll never give up my search for Megan and Ashley...
Sunday, February 22, 2009
In this blog, I wont disguise names, but I'll only be using the first name of anyone involved. If there's someone involved whom I associate myself with in present day, I wont use their real name. I may use fake names for the sake of making things easier to write and also for the sake of making things easier to understand for you, the reader. Consider this a disclaimer: I don't care if people know who I am, but I'll forever protect those I love and care about. That said, read on. :) Take care!